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Fortune Cookies

The universe is laughing behind your back.


  • "Say it, don't spray it!"
  • "It seems strange to meet computer geeks who're still primarily running Windows... as if they were still cooking on a wood stove or something." - mbp
  • "Perl is executable line noise, Python is executable pseudo-code."
  • "Heck, I'm having a hard time imagining the DOM as civilized!" -- Fred L. Drake, Jr.
  • Good fortune in love, as well as a better position.
  • Some men are discovered; others are found out.
  • Words must be weighed, not counted.
  • By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.
  • If you always postpone pleasure you will never have it. Quit work and play for once!
  • Your present plans will be successful.
  • He who spends a storm beneath a tree, takes life with a grain of TNT.
  • You attempt things that you do not even plan because of your extreme stupidity.
  • Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
  • Words are the voice of the heart.
  • Your mind understands what you have been taught; your heart, what is true.
  • A king's castle is his home.
  • Advancement in position.
  • You will soon meet a person who will play an important role in your life.
  • You will be surrounded by luxury.
  • He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last.
  • The universe is laughing behind your back.
  • The best prophet of the future is the past.
  • It is a poor judge who cannot award a prize.
  • Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion.
  • Money will say more in one moment than the most eloquent lover can in years.
  • Money may buy friendship but money can not buy love.
  • Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you out of Casablanca.
  • Creditors have much better memories than debtors.
  • Expect a letter from a friend who will ask a favor of you.
  • You have a will that can be influenced by all with whom you come in contact.
  • You will overcome the attacks of jealous associates.
  • Many pages make a thick book.
  • Every purchase has its price.
  • You have the power to influence all with whom you come in contact.
  • Alimony and bribes will engage a large share of your wealth.
  • You will be surprised by a loud noise.
  • You will be married within a year.
  • You will have long and healthy life.
  • You will step on the soil of many countries.
  • Stop searching forever. Happiness is just next to you.
  • Mind your own business, Spock. I'm sick of your halfbreed interference.
  • You are secretive in your dealings but never to the extent of trickery.
  • He who invents adages for others to peruse takes along rowboat when going on cruise.
  • You are tricky, but never to the point of dishonesty.
  • Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal.
  • The person you rejected yesterday could make you happy, if you say yes.
  • Show your affection, which will probably meet with pleasant response.
  • If you suspect a man, don't employ him.
  • You are dishonest, but never to the point of hurting a friend.
  • Economy makes men independent.
  • You will hear good news from one you thought unfriendly to you.
  • The Tree of Learning bears the noblest fruit, but noble fruit tastes bad.
  • Stop searching forever. Happiness is unattainable.
  • A man who fishes for marlin in ponds will put his money in Etruscan bonds.
  • A good memory does not equal pale ink.
  • Don't speak about Time, until you have spoken to him.
  • You will be honored for contributing your time and skill to a worthy cause.
  • You will be awarded a medal for disregarding safety in saving someone.
  • You will be imprisoned for contributing your time and skill to a bank robbery.
  • How sharper than a hound's tooth it is to have a thankless serpent.
  • Executive ability is prominent in your make-up.
  • It's later than you think.
  • Your lover will never wish to leave you.
  • You are farsighted, a good planner, an ardent lover, and a faithful friend.
  • You will gain money by a speculation or lottery.
  • Mistakes are oft the stepping stones to failure.
  • Beware of friends who are false and deceitful.
  • It's not reality that's important, but how you percieve things.
  • You recoil from the crude; you tend naturally toward the exquisite.
  • Promptness is its own reward, if one lives by the clock instead of the sword.
  • Like winter snow on summer lawn, time past is time gone.
  • Far duller than a serpent's tooth it is to spend a quiet youth.
  • Today is a good day to bribe a high ranking public official.
  • Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
  • The attacker must vanquish; the defender need only survive.
  • You are a bundle of energy always on the go.
  • Standing on head makes smile of frown, but rest of face also upside down.
  • Everybody ought to have a friend.
  • Your own qualities will help prevent your advancement in the world.
  • Among the lucky, you are the chosen one.
  • You love peace.
  • It is Fortune, not wisdom that rules man's life.
  • You display the wonderful traits of charm and courtesy.
  • Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of good news soon.
  • Preserve the old, but know the new.
  • You are unscrupulously dishonest, false, and deceitful.
  • You have been selected for a secret mission.
  • You have literary talent that you should take pains to develop.
  • Deprive a mirror of its silver and even the Czar won't see his face.
  • Man's horizons are bounded by his vision.
  • To criticize the incompetent is easy; it is more difficult to criticize the competent.
  • You will be successful in love.
  • Recent investments will yield a slight profit.
  • Someone is unenthusiastic about your work.
  • He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet.
  • Lend money to a bad debtor and he will hate you.
  • There will be big changes for you but you will be happy.
  • Men seldom show dimples to girls who have pimples.
  • Troglodytism does not necessarily imply a low cultural level.
  • The luck that is ordained for you will be coveted by others.
  • You are scrupulously honest, frank, and straightforward.
  • You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.
  • You will be given a post of trust and responsibility.
  • As goatheard learns his trade by goat, so writer learns his trade by wrote.
  • You will be awarded some great honor.
  • One man tells a falsehood, a hundred repeat it as true.
  • It is better to wear out than to rust out.
  • Enjoy your life; be pleasant and gay, like the birds in May.
  • If it pours before seven, it has rained by eleven.
  • Try to value useful qualities in one who loves you.
  • You will receive a legacy which will place you above want.
  • You shall be rewarded for a dastardly deed.
  • It's a poor workman who blames his tools.
  • You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.
  • You will be singled out for promotion in your work.
  • When the wind is great, bow before it; when the wind is heavy, yield to it.
  • The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf.
  • It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
  • You plan things that you do not even attempt because of your extreme caution.
  • How you look depends on where you go.
  • A plucked goose doesn't lay golden eggs.
  • Many changes of mind and mood; do not hesitate too long.
  • Domestic happiness and faithful friends.
  • A man who turns green has eschewed protein.
  • Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust.
  • Love is in the offing. Be affectionate to one who adores you.
  • You will be recognized and honored as a community leader.
  • Even a hawk is an eagle among crows.
  • Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark.
  • People who take cat naps don't usually sleep in a cat's cradle.
  • Make a wish, it might come true.
  • A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn.
  • Do not clog intellect's sluices with bits of knowledge of questionable uses.
  • Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
  • Courage is your greatest present need.
  • Try to divide your time evenly to keep others happy.
  • It is easier to run down a hill than up one.
  • A gift of flower will soon be made to you.
  • Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals.
  • You will have good luck and overcome many hardships.
  • You have an ability to sense and know higher truth.
  • Good news from afar can bring you a welcome visitor.
  • Be careful how you get yourself involved with persons or situations that can't bear inspection.
  • There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.
  • You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music.
  • The time is right to make new friends.
  • You can do very well in speculation where land or anything to do with earth is concerned.
  • You have an ability to sense and know higher truth.
  • You have had a long-term stimulation relative to business.
  • You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself.
  • He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet.
  • Don't be overly suspicious where it's not warranted.
  • You have a strong desire for a home and your family interests come first.
  • To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools.
  • You have an unusual equpment for success. Be sure to use if properly.
  • Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of good news soon.
  • You love your home and want it to be beautiful.
  • His heart was yours from the first moment that you met.
  • Your aims are high, and you are capable of much.
  • You will meet an important person who will help you advance professionally.
  • You like to form new friendships and make new acquaintances.
  • Your temporary financial embarassment will be relieved in a surprising manner.
  • You will be aided greatly by a person whom you thought to be unimportant.
  • Beauty and harmony are as necessary to you as the very breath of life.
  • You are going to have a new love affair.
  • Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all.
  • Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.
  • With clothes the new are best, with friends the old are best.
  • His heart was yours from the first moment that you met.
  • If you make a mistake you right it immediately to the best of your ability.
  • A well-known friend is a treasure.
  • Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of new developments.
  • You enjoy the company of other people.
  • Put your trust in those who are worthy.
  • Someone is speaking well of you.
  • He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap.
  • Your domestic life may be harmonious.
  • True happiness will be found only in true love.
  • You have no real enemies.
  • Emacs Makes All Computing Simple
  • Nile Is Like Emacs
  • Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
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